cheers to your childhood love.

paper cuts from magazines

the boys like you steal and keep, steal

friendly kisses to his knuckles when

the girls can’t see you, or seek you 

where you hide together. you and him

ride bikes to magic places and make

palaces of foxholes, bury coins in dirt

to come back to as grown-ups.

you never wanted to grow up.

​

now you’re taller and the

girls can see you better,

touch you boldly with their soft

hands, soft lips and softness

that you just might envy more than crave.

fearless are the females, so unlike your

young puzzles, painting clumsy patterns

with the male heart.

​

they love you plainly. love him plainly.

after drinking and dancing and basketball,

river swims and sunday service and your

going away, you’re going away, and then

he and you are alone in one house

far from home and you notice that

he’s so much taller than you.

​

and he’s braver than you, good with girls,

good enough to have her over for a flick

and you watch them from the kitchen

fixated on his fingers curled on her shoulder

as a barfly speaks of big love, great love

-you know he is your great love.

​

ode to the male heart, more like pudding than glass

a cup of nostalgia, sweet, indulgent, and you

like the taste as you like to taste the bitter

possession on your tongue when he kisses her.

oh, how the male heart aches and aches,

acres of aches, yearning to be alone with him

​

again in the fields back home. you return,

one day, after the california promise, fulfilled.

do you know yourself better now,

blue eyes?

have you heard him call out in the night for you,

or have you been sleeping?

life is rich in color, richer with him

at your side

and the skinned knees are not yours,

but your son’s, but your sons are not

like you.

​

aged heart, thrum your truth.

and ode to you, you,

who cried in the church parking lot

because your body cries for

calloused cowboy hands -and beards.

he is your cowboy, you lost lover,

and he lassoed you with fever, ages ago. so,

ode to you, cowboy blue eyes,

to your male heart, and the

male heart that sings for you from

the seat to your right.

cheers to your childhood love.